First Love

Howdy! So this isn't the kind of content I would usually post but I am pretty proud of this piece and I had a lot of fun writing this. :)) Please let me know if you enjoyed this because I have a Taylor Swift memoir that I may post in the near future too. Thank you, enjoy xx

I am sixteen, I am beautiful but lonely. Slowly getting known for my Doc Marten and dress combination, paired with my cardigan I got second hand a few years back. Mum hates that cardigan and she has good reason to. I wear it with everything, whether it matches or not. That cardigan feels like home, a familiar sight in my forever changing world. I don’t know what love is, for months I thought it was the feeling you got when you held a concert ticket for the first time or discovering that a long time acquaintance would turn out to be the best thing and best friend I could ever ask for. Turns out that was just having a passion, and a soul mate. I found out that these things weren't love when the concert ended and my best friend got a boyfriend. I don’t like to think about love because the main things that come to mind is my parents broken relationship and how my grandparents don’t sleep in the same bed any more. But sometimes when I am comfortably full of my favourite foods and I'm allowing myself to over think, I think of you. I think of when you saved me from the kids that didn't know right from wrong and the teachers that should have known right from wrong. Years later I realized that all that didn't matter, what did matter was that you saved me from myself. I think of your Mother, treating me like her own; telling me that I was the daughter she never did have. But over anything, I think about how you’re the only reason I attempted skateboarding. It reminds me of you and your old and shredded up board that you were still so proud of. Five years, many tears and a song about you later, you’re no longer around to help me fight my battles. You ignore me now and I always thought you were the one boy that would never do that to me. I walk away from you breathing funny because your best friend and your Mother always acknowledge me but you just stare into space thinking of anything but me, us. I also thought that to be in love you had to be loved back. Today I realized that isn't always the case. I love you but where are you?